I'm Alive!

I'm alive! I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted. Hopefully it won't take so long for the next one. So much has happened I don't even know where to start! Let me think for a minute...Oh I know! Let's start with two amazing men who are going to make two amazing superheroes!

First up is Ryan Reynolds as the Green Lantern!

Last is Chris Evans as Captain America!

Awwww yeah! I can not wait to see these two kicking some ass! Or to see their asses in those costumes kicking some ass! It's just going to be a lot of ass and it's going to be pure bliss! God they're beautiful! Okay I'll stop drooling now so I can at least finish this post.

I'm going to try school again in January! I'm going to get my associates in Interior Design and then probably finish my bachelors at an out of state school. Preferably a school in California, but we'll see how things go. I'm just finishing up all the admission steps so I can register for classes. I'm kind of excited! I think it will be challenging and fun and allow me to express myself, but also bring joy to other people's lives, which is the best part. A guilty pleasure of mine is HGTV. I watch it all the time! My favorite part of every show is the reveal. I love seeing the client's reaction and the pure joy emanating from their whole being. It's inspiring! I've thought about Interior Design as a career for a long time so I'm finally going to give it a try. Wish me luck!

For those of you who didn't know, this fall I had a routine colonoscopy. Kind of embarrassing. I had to undergo this procedure because one day, out of the blue, my stomach started hurting like Hell! I was at work and had to leave early because I was in the bathroom so much. Even more embarrassing. This was a Sunday, so the only clinics open are InstaCare clinics. I waited forty-five minutes to see a damn doctor! I was pissed! Especially when the doctor told me there's nothing they can do for you here, so you need to go to the ER. I was even more pissed! So I go to the ER and spend six or seven hours there, going through the routine procedures. Getting poked endlessly so they could get the fucking IV in, drink the contrast for the CT Scan, lay around, go to the bathroom, lay around some more, go to the bathroom again, lay around, finally get the CT Scan, and wait some more to be told what the fuck is wrong with me only to find out the CT Scan couldn't show anything, but since there's blood in my stool I have to get a colonoscopy! Luckily throughout all this I had two great guys to help me out and I'm very grateful to them for being there for me. Anyway, I had the colonoscopy and the results from the biopsies were normal. Thank God! The report said it was just a bout of colitis and it will go away over time, but I swear my stomach hasn't been the same. Whatever. Effin' stomach.

Alright I'm all blogged out. I'll post again soon and as always, thanks for reading my insignificant poppycock! Hehe! I said cock.

How Many More?

Tonight I attended a candlelight vigil for a man I did not know, but I wanted to pay my respects for the life he lived and sadly, chose to end. The vigil was beautiful with many people there to show their love and support. I was touched by the words shared in this man's memory.

I don't know why he chose to end his life. What trials did he face? What demons? How long did his internal struggle last? I'm pained he chose to end his journey, but I hope now he has found peace.

My heart hurts! It truly, deeply hurts for those who have taken their lives this month. For those who have taken theirs before. It hurts for them and for anyone who has been affected by these tragedies.

How many more? How many more lives will be lost before hatred is turned to love? Intolerance to acceptance? Fear to understanding? How many more souls must keep struggling to be accepted for who they are, not what they are? How many families must be torn apart before we realize we are all a family? That we're all in this together? How many tears must be shed to wash away the poison that is bigotry? How many more?

I ask anyone who reads this to please search deep in your hearts for the love I know is there. If you know someone who is a member of the LGBTQ community, please open your heart to accept them as they are! Don't let what you've been taught get in the way of what you truly feel in your heart to be right! We are people just like you. We are different, but we are the same. We laugh, we cry, and we love.

We are all on this journey of life together and I look forward to the day when we can all share it together in peace, happiness, and most importantly, love.

Ramblings

Hmmm....what to ramble on about? I think I'll begin with my reason for not getting into a relationship at the present time because many people have been asking why I'm not dating anyone. The main reason holding me back from a relationship is my goal of moving to California before the end of the year. I don't want to get involved with anyone just to break it off when I move.

Why am I moving to California? I'm moving to California for a change. I think a change would really help me at this time in my life. I feel stuck where I'm at now like I can't move forward and if anything, I keep taking steps back. I don't want to be the person who looks back on their life and says if only...so I'm taking steps I feel are necessary for me to be happy and I'm doing it while I'm still young. Is there anything any of you feel you should do? If there is I hope you'll do it and won't have to say if only...Believe in yourself! Don't let your dreams get away! Don't let yourself say you're comfortable with your life if there's something you long for. Go for it! If you fail it's okay. These are things I've been telling myself for a while now and why I'm taking steps to do things I've always dreamed about.

Something else I've been pondering a lot lately is all the crazy shit going on in the US right now. Whether it's loony politicians, oil spills, or just your neighbor being a dumb ass, there is some shit going down in this country. I'm not going to get into anything specific, but I will say I'm tired of all the hatred people have for one another! Come on guys! There's no place for it. None! You want America back? Then stop your childish behavior! I can't believe how many people claim to be upstanding citizens of the United States, yet they have so much to do with all of the country's problems. You want to save America? You want to make this country proud? Then do your part to make this country free of hate. Stop being selfish and prideful. Stop degrading one another. It's scary to think of where the US could be headed in the future, so how long will it take us to realize we need to change before it's too late? I could go on but I'm not going to. I'll spare you.

Before I end this post I want to say to all of my loved ones that I love you and am grateful for you all!

Recent Happenings

Hi there! Allow me to reintroduce myself. I'm Nick and this is my blog. I'm going to stop apologizing for not posting regularly because frankly, I'll just post when I feel like it! So deal with it! Anywho...

Recent happenings in my life have been pretty good ones. I've been to Las Vegas again and loved it! I saw a show, drank to my hearts content, gambled a little, and even got some shopping done. I must say I bought some excellent clothes this time and no I did not spend hundreds of dollars on a single article of clothing! Go me!

I've booked a flight to Boston in August to go see some friends out there and I can't wait! I have a goal while there to not consume too much alcohol so I can remember most of the trip this time. What can I say? I think I'm becoming a lush.

I've been to three festivals. Pride Festival, Living Traditions Festival, and the Utah Arts Festival. All had nice things to offer, but I think my favorite would have to be the Utah Arts Festival. I just love it! Wish I could afford some of the fucking cool art. My room would be awesome!

I finally made it up to my hometown after a prolonged hiatus. It was great to get away, not drink for a weekend, see my family, and just relax! My little brother performed in a show, which was pretty fucking funny and I got to see an old high school buddy, which was great. I'm going to try to make it up there more often, but we'll see how my efforts unfold.

I had an amazing July 4th weekend! Friday night I went to Pure and had a blast. Saturday consisted of a family BBQ followed by a night out at Jam. Sunday I went to a pool party, went to another party, went to Jam, and then ended the morning in a hot tub and pool that were amazing for several reasons, which I'll let you imagine on your own! Don't be dirty either! You disgust me!

These happenings were filled with wonderful family and friends for whom I'm very grateful to have in my life!

Photos

Here are a couple photos from my iPhone from my California trip! The rest will come soon. I want to go back!

California Cruisin'

I came home on Tuesday after an amazing week in California with my family. It was awesome and much needed! The only downside is I didn't get paid time off for the vacation, so I'm out of a weeks pay. Don't worry, if I need money I'll just panhandle. Anyway, we stayed at the Marriott Villas Resort in Newport Beach. I highly recommend them! We were able to rent our condo for $1600 for the whole week! You could comfortably fit eight people in one, which means I want to take a group of friends and rent one. Think of it! $200 a person for a week in California! Super cheap! It would be amazing. The resort has three pools and two hot tubs, which were very nice! It's basically on the beach and close to Disneyland. I loved it!

There are so many hot guys in California! I was going crazy! One fun thing about having an iPhone is the application called Grindr. It lets you see guys with iPhones and the app that are close to you and you can chat with them. Needless to say my Grindr was going to make my phone explode and my battery died several times over the course of the vacation. It drains your battery! Anyway it's always fun to use it because you can ask all the guys where the good restaurants and bars are located. It's very amusing.

I'll post pictures of the trip as soon as I load them to my computer. Promise. I know you want to see them so be patient.

Party 'Til You Drop

I don't remember some of the weekends in the past month due to my excessive thirst for alcohol. Well I shouldn't say thirst because that makes me sound like an alcoholic, which I'm not, so instead I'll say it is due to my not yet learned limits for alcohol intake. The reason I don't remember some of the weekends is because I blacked out quicker than you could say Supercalifragiwhosahoweveryouspellthisfuckofaword word. My problem is when drinking, I don't wait until I feel anything to have another drink, or four. So I drink and drink and drink and dri


Due to blacking out, Nick will be back with us when he regains consciousness. Please stay tuned.

Photographs

Hey all! Here is the link to view the pics from my photo shoot I did with Ryan Muirhead. Now these are just test shots, but I hope you enjoy. I don't like some of them, but who really likes pictures of themselves? Let me know what you think!

http://ryanmuirhead.instaproofs.com/category.php?event=214343&id=540590

Vanity

So I've decided I'm really sucking at posting and for that I apologize. I hope to get better at it! Anywho...what to blog about in this post?

My weekend was pretty eventful! Friday night I went to an open call for Elite Modeling/Pulse Management because my friend who is a scout for them suggested I come in. Just to keep this short I'll just say I am too short and didn't make the cut, but I was told I have an incredible face and if I wanted to I could have some good photos taken and bring them in and they would see what they could do for me. So there is still a chance! It was very flattering! I'll keep you up to date with what happens in that area.

Prior to this open call me and a friend decided to go to Las Vegas to do some shopping for some good clothes. Yes, I went to Vegas again. Yes, I loved it! Yes, I spent a lot of money! However, I got some amazing clothes and one item in particular I'm very glad I purchased...Okay, so I spent $300 on a Prada shirt! Don't judge me! It's amazing and yes, it was worth the drive back even though we had to pull over three times so we wouldn't fall asleep. We made it home safe! I did end up wearing a shirt I purchased to the open call and I must say I looked quite handsome in it. I'm a little vain, just deal with it. Needless to say I won't be going to Vegas for a while. At least not until June. Better save more money!

Saturday...hmm...I don't remember too much of Saturday because I was so drunk! All I know is I had an amazing time and I talk a lot when I'm drunk and I'm very friendly. I really need to learn when to stop because it would be nice to remember at least one weekend!

Vegas Baby!

A couple of weekends ago I went to Vegas with some friends to get away and have a blast. Boy did we ever! Let's just say that I have yet to travel to a large city in the country without getting so wasted I don't black out. So I'm setting a goal for myself that whenever I travel I won't black out because it would be nice to remember all of a trip for once. Unfortunately, I didn't win any money, but I didn't lose much either and I almost bought a $350.00 D&G shirt but resisted with the help of a friend. It would have fit perfectly though! Maybe I'll go back...Anyway, I didn't take many pictures, but here are a few from the trip. I want to go back as soon as possible!

New Best Friend

I think it was about a month ago when Sexy decided he wanted to get a dog, so we went to the Humane Society to see what dogs were there and possibly which one he would bring home. We walked through the building a few times looking at all the dogs and there were so many! It's sad to see so many animals without a home, but we knew one of the dogs would be going home with him.

Sexy's roommate was with us and we all said which dogs were our top three choices and one dog was on all three of our lists, so we got him out to walk around a little bit and see how he warmed up to us. He was adorable and the most chill dog I've ever met. After chilling with him for a while Sexy decided he was the one and brought him home!

The poor dog was nervous for the first week or so, but he's doing much better in his new home and he's so much fun! He is a Chihuahua and Dachsund mix. One ear sticks up and the other one is floppy and he has a bushy tail. He runs really funny, but he's adorable!

The shelter had named him Danny, but we didn't like that name and couldn't think of one for a few days until the little guy stood on his hind legs and hopped a little. I guess Sexy's roommate said he looked like a little joey, so they decided to name him Joey after a baby kangaroo.

I tried to get a good picture of him, but couldn't until he was asleep, so here he is!

Sweetness

I thought you all might like to see the flowers that Sexy gave me over the weekend, so here they are in all their beauty!

Clavinova

Yesterday was a very happy day in my life! My Clavinova was delivered and assembled and boy does it look great! For those of you who don't know what exactly a Clavinova is it is a digital piano. Yes! I now have a piano I can play for hours on end and annoy the hell out of my roommates and neighbors. Fuck yeah!

Anyway, I'm going to be taking lessons and practicing hard so I can get my skill level where it needs to be to perform one day and maybe even become famous because of it! It would be a dream come true. I'll let you know how I progress, but until then you can bask in my future glory.

Delay Continued

Dearest Readers,

Please accept this as my apology for not posting anything for an excessive amount of time. I've had a lot on my plate the last few weeks and am just barely gulping down the first half. I ask that you please bear with me and I hope you will check back to see when my new posts are complete. Again sincerest apologies and I wish you all the best!

With much love,

Nick

Delay

Sorry for not posting for a very long period of time! I've been busy and the last three days I've been sick. So as soon as I get back on my feet I will have a new post! Thanks for reading.

The Facade of Religion

On Sunday, a young man in my parents home ward/church committed suicide. I don't know any details other than he did it when he came home from church and that he'd been suffering with depression. He died Monday night in the hospital. He was a junior in high school. I knew the young man from going to church growing up. I remember always thinking that he looked just like his dad. He was really shy as a little kid and I didn't know him as he grew up since I moved to Salt Lake City in 2005, but from what I remember he was a great kid with a big heart. His death has impacted me more than I could possibly imagine as I'm sure it has many others. I haven't slept well the last several nights because I can't stop thinking about it.

So many questions come to mind as you think of why someone would choose to end their life. What were they going through that could make them feel so hopeless? Did they try to get help? Did they talk with someone?

I've had depression for years and just barely started on medication, but mine has never been so severe that I've wanted to end my life. I can not possibly imagine feeling any worse than I do when I'm depressed, so I can't even being to fathom what someone feels like when they choose to end their life. It breaks my heart that someone could hurt to such an extremity.

Since I've heard of this young man's passing my mind has been racing. My thoughts keep turning to religion and the role it can play in many people's unhappiness, my own included, and the role it has played in conflicts throughout history.

I can't finish my thoughts in this post, but I will in the next one.

Imagine

The words to John Lennon's song have been on my mind a lot. In this crazy world we live in it's hard to imagine the world in this song coming to fruition, but here's to hoping. Imagine.


Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one