On Sunday, a young man in my parents home ward/church committed suicide. I don't know any details other than he did it when he came home from church and that he'd been suffering with depression. He died Monday night in the hospital. He was a junior in high school. I knew the young man from going to church growing up. I remember always thinking that he looked just like his dad. He was really shy as a little kid and I didn't know him as he grew up since I moved to Salt Lake City in 2005, but from what I remember he was a great kid with a big heart. His death has impacted me more than I could possibly imagine as I'm sure it has many others. I haven't slept well the last several nights because I can't stop thinking about it.
So many questions come to mind as you think of why someone would choose to end their life. What were they going through that could make them feel so hopeless? Did they try to get help? Did they talk with someone?
I've had depression for years and just barely started on medication, but mine has never been so severe that I've wanted to end my life. I can not possibly imagine feeling any worse than I do when I'm depressed, so I can't even being to fathom what someone feels like when they choose to end their life. It breaks my heart that someone could hurt to such an extremity.
Since I've heard of this young man's passing my mind has been racing. My thoughts keep turning to religion and the role it can play in many people's unhappiness, my own included, and the role it has played in conflicts throughout history.
I can't finish my thoughts in this post, but I will in the next one.
So many questions come to mind as you think of why someone would choose to end their life. What were they going through that could make them feel so hopeless? Did they try to get help? Did they talk with someone?
I've had depression for years and just barely started on medication, but mine has never been so severe that I've wanted to end my life. I can not possibly imagine feeling any worse than I do when I'm depressed, so I can't even being to fathom what someone feels like when they choose to end their life. It breaks my heart that someone could hurt to such an extremity.
Since I've heard of this young man's passing my mind has been racing. My thoughts keep turning to religion and the role it can play in many people's unhappiness, my own included, and the role it has played in conflicts throughout history.
I can't finish my thoughts in this post, but I will in the next one.
Hey Nick!
ReplyDeleteI ran across your blog, I hope you don't mind! I really like your style of writing! You express your emotions really well. I hope everything is going great for you!
-Lisa Zhang
Hey Lisa!
ReplyDeleteI don't mind at all that you ran across my blog! Thanks for the comment! I hope you'll keep coming back! Do you have a blog? Things are going great for me. I hope they're going well for you!
-Nick
I don't have a blog... I'm kind of a boring writer so I never bothered starting one. Haha. I'll definitely check back regularly! :)
ReplyDeleteP.S. I think you should post a picture of Sexy... I wanna SEE!
My uncle committed suicide when I was twelve and I never really understood what happened, I just remember the look in my grandfather's eyes when my grandmother told him. It felt completely surreal, like time was standing still, and we just had to keep living until it was over, and then it just really is not ever really over, you just have to learn how to deal with it in new ways. Life is fragile and we are just humans being fragile. There is something nice about that too though I guess. love, jo.
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