How Many More?

Tonight I attended a candlelight vigil for a man I did not know, but I wanted to pay my respects for the life he lived and sadly, chose to end. The vigil was beautiful with many people there to show their love and support. I was touched by the words shared in this man's memory.

I don't know why he chose to end his life. What trials did he face? What demons? How long did his internal struggle last? I'm pained he chose to end his journey, but I hope now he has found peace.

My heart hurts! It truly, deeply hurts for those who have taken their lives this month. For those who have taken theirs before. It hurts for them and for anyone who has been affected by these tragedies.

How many more? How many more lives will be lost before hatred is turned to love? Intolerance to acceptance? Fear to understanding? How many more souls must keep struggling to be accepted for who they are, not what they are? How many families must be torn apart before we realize we are all a family? That we're all in this together? How many tears must be shed to wash away the poison that is bigotry? How many more?

I ask anyone who reads this to please search deep in your hearts for the love I know is there. If you know someone who is a member of the LGBTQ community, please open your heart to accept them as they are! Don't let what you've been taught get in the way of what you truly feel in your heart to be right! We are people just like you. We are different, but we are the same. We laugh, we cry, and we love.

We are all on this journey of life together and I look forward to the day when we can all share it together in peace, happiness, and most importantly, love.

Ramblings

Hmmm....what to ramble on about? I think I'll begin with my reason for not getting into a relationship at the present time because many people have been asking why I'm not dating anyone. The main reason holding me back from a relationship is my goal of moving to California before the end of the year. I don't want to get involved with anyone just to break it off when I move.

Why am I moving to California? I'm moving to California for a change. I think a change would really help me at this time in my life. I feel stuck where I'm at now like I can't move forward and if anything, I keep taking steps back. I don't want to be the person who looks back on their life and says if only...so I'm taking steps I feel are necessary for me to be happy and I'm doing it while I'm still young. Is there anything any of you feel you should do? If there is I hope you'll do it and won't have to say if only...Believe in yourself! Don't let your dreams get away! Don't let yourself say you're comfortable with your life if there's something you long for. Go for it! If you fail it's okay. These are things I've been telling myself for a while now and why I'm taking steps to do things I've always dreamed about.

Something else I've been pondering a lot lately is all the crazy shit going on in the US right now. Whether it's loony politicians, oil spills, or just your neighbor being a dumb ass, there is some shit going down in this country. I'm not going to get into anything specific, but I will say I'm tired of all the hatred people have for one another! Come on guys! There's no place for it. None! You want America back? Then stop your childish behavior! I can't believe how many people claim to be upstanding citizens of the United States, yet they have so much to do with all of the country's problems. You want to save America? You want to make this country proud? Then do your part to make this country free of hate. Stop being selfish and prideful. Stop degrading one another. It's scary to think of where the US could be headed in the future, so how long will it take us to realize we need to change before it's too late? I could go on but I'm not going to. I'll spare you.

Before I end this post I want to say to all of my loved ones that I love you and am grateful for you all!

Recent Happenings

Hi there! Allow me to reintroduce myself. I'm Nick and this is my blog. I'm going to stop apologizing for not posting regularly because frankly, I'll just post when I feel like it! So deal with it! Anywho...

Recent happenings in my life have been pretty good ones. I've been to Las Vegas again and loved it! I saw a show, drank to my hearts content, gambled a little, and even got some shopping done. I must say I bought some excellent clothes this time and no I did not spend hundreds of dollars on a single article of clothing! Go me!

I've booked a flight to Boston in August to go see some friends out there and I can't wait! I have a goal while there to not consume too much alcohol so I can remember most of the trip this time. What can I say? I think I'm becoming a lush.

I've been to three festivals. Pride Festival, Living Traditions Festival, and the Utah Arts Festival. All had nice things to offer, but I think my favorite would have to be the Utah Arts Festival. I just love it! Wish I could afford some of the fucking cool art. My room would be awesome!

I finally made it up to my hometown after a prolonged hiatus. It was great to get away, not drink for a weekend, see my family, and just relax! My little brother performed in a show, which was pretty fucking funny and I got to see an old high school buddy, which was great. I'm going to try to make it up there more often, but we'll see how my efforts unfold.

I had an amazing July 4th weekend! Friday night I went to Pure and had a blast. Saturday consisted of a family BBQ followed by a night out at Jam. Sunday I went to a pool party, went to another party, went to Jam, and then ended the morning in a hot tub and pool that were amazing for several reasons, which I'll let you imagine on your own! Don't be dirty either! You disgust me!

These happenings were filled with wonderful family and friends for whom I'm very grateful to have in my life!

Photos

Here are a couple photos from my iPhone from my California trip! The rest will come soon. I want to go back!

California Cruisin'

I came home on Tuesday after an amazing week in California with my family. It was awesome and much needed! The only downside is I didn't get paid time off for the vacation, so I'm out of a weeks pay. Don't worry, if I need money I'll just panhandle. Anyway, we stayed at the Marriott Villas Resort in Newport Beach. I highly recommend them! We were able to rent our condo for $1600 for the whole week! You could comfortably fit eight people in one, which means I want to take a group of friends and rent one. Think of it! $200 a person for a week in California! Super cheap! It would be amazing. The resort has three pools and two hot tubs, which were very nice! It's basically on the beach and close to Disneyland. I loved it!

There are so many hot guys in California! I was going crazy! One fun thing about having an iPhone is the application called Grindr. It lets you see guys with iPhones and the app that are close to you and you can chat with them. Needless to say my Grindr was going to make my phone explode and my battery died several times over the course of the vacation. It drains your battery! Anyway it's always fun to use it because you can ask all the guys where the good restaurants and bars are located. It's very amusing.

I'll post pictures of the trip as soon as I load them to my computer. Promise. I know you want to see them so be patient.

Party 'Til You Drop

I don't remember some of the weekends in the past month due to my excessive thirst for alcohol. Well I shouldn't say thirst because that makes me sound like an alcoholic, which I'm not, so instead I'll say it is due to my not yet learned limits for alcohol intake. The reason I don't remember some of the weekends is because I blacked out quicker than you could say Supercalifragiwhosahoweveryouspellthisfuckofaword word. My problem is when drinking, I don't wait until I feel anything to have another drink, or four. So I drink and drink and drink and dri


Due to blacking out, Nick will be back with us when he regains consciousness. Please stay tuned.

Photographs

Hey all! Here is the link to view the pics from my photo shoot I did with Ryan Muirhead. Now these are just test shots, but I hope you enjoy. I don't like some of them, but who really likes pictures of themselves? Let me know what you think!

http://ryanmuirhead.instaproofs.com/category.php?event=214343&id=540590