Happy Christmas!

Christmas was a great time with the family this year! I drove up to my parents on Christmas Eve and my oldest sister and her family came up as well. We had an amazing dinner as always and we say what we are thankful for before we eat. I think this is the first year no one cried while saying what they are thankful for. I'm thankful for my family, friends, job, good health, Sexy, and a good shitload of more stuff!

Anyway, I remember growing up and sometimes I wouldn't be able to eat because the excitement made me sick! My little brother was the same way. We wouldn't be able to sleep either and at 6:30 in the morning we would wake everyone up in the house with our giddiness! Everyone would take their turn in the bathroom and then we'd head to the stairs for the traditional picture of the family sitting on the stairs looking half alive. We still do this tradition and I love it. While sitting on the stairs my dad would go into the family room to look at all the gifts and tease us by saying that Santa didn't come. We knew he was lying! We were always good little shits! Okay not always, but close. He'd tell us when it was time to go into the room and then all Hell broke loose!

Christmas was amazing growing up because of the magic, mystery, and wonder of it all. It's still amazing now that I'm older, but in a different way. We still do all the same traditions, which brings back good memories, but I just love being around family and friends and feeling the love for everyone and their love for me. It's one of the best feelings in the world!

Okay okay! Enough reminiscing! I got Smallville Season 8, LOST Season 5, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince all on DVD. Can't wait to catch up on those shows! I got some iTunes giftcards, cash, candy, and some books in hardcover that I've been wanting. Good presents! The only thing that would've made it better would've been to be with Sexy. I missed him a lot. At least I'll get to be with him on New's Year! Yes!

Oh, one more thing! We went and saw Sherlock Holmes and it was great! A fun movie and I must say that Jude Law is one beautiful man! So here's a pic! Happy Christmas and New Year!

Okay so I couldn't pick just one. He's just that delicious!

Avatar

One more thing before I don't post for a few days, go see Avatar! It's an amazing, powerful film! I want to see it again. James Cameron has a way of drawing you into his films where you become so immersed in the worlds he's created it's hard to come back to reality.

Pandora, the world in Avatar, is very hard to leave and it's beauty is breathtaking. You want to stay and discover everything you can about it. I wish the movie would have been longer than it's already three hour length just to continue to be inspired and see things I've never seen before.

Anyway, don't expect too much from my words because if you go see it, I don't want it to fail in comparison. Go in with low expectations and that should help.

Enjoy the movie and let me know what you think!

Merry Christmas again!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all have a memorable holiday season with friends and family! You'll get to hear all about mine I'm sure.

Coachman's Poisoned Waffle

On Monday night I went out to dinner with some friends to have a good time and enjoy some food. They decided to go to Coachman's, which is a dive diner in Salt Lake City. The place is like a time warp! You walk in and you swear you've been transported back to the '80s and not just because of the way the building looks, but because of the customers as well. It's actually kind of creepy. And there's an employee there that has Sex Offender or something written all over him. He's so creepy! And we witnessed sexual harassment from him towards some of the waitresses and hostess and we wish we could file something against him, he was that horrible. Anyway onto the real reason for this post.

So I couldn't decide what I wanted to eat and it was getting late and for some reason breakfast is always amazing late at night. I decided to go with the Waffle Special. It comes with over easy eggs and bacon on top of the waffle. Delicious! At least it was until I was done and we were leaving the restaurant and my stomach flipped out. I was fine until 3 in the morning. All Hell broke loose at this point and it decided to come from my stomach. I don't think I've ever been so sick in my entire life! Demons of all shapes and sizes were using my stomach as their gateway to the mortal world. I wanted to die! I swear I felt my stomach entering my throat a couple times. After three tributes to the Porcelain God, my stomach was empty and yet my body still felt the need to expel some more fiends. This went on until 10 am. By that time I was exhausted. Every muscle ached in my body. All of this because of one fucking waffle! It will probably be a while before I decide to ever give Coachman's a second chance.

My poor roommates! I kept them up all night with me while I was praying to the Porcelain God. And one of them was even kind enough to buy me some Coke, Sprite, Gatorade, and bread to help my tummy settle down. I'm very grateful for them both! They are awesome! Anyway hope this post didn't make you too sick. I'm just glad I won't be sick for Christmas!

Best 2000s Movies: Top 40 Films of the Decade - Inside Movies

I really like this list! Check it out! I especially like the choice for #1!
Best 2000s Movies: Top 40 Films of the Decade - Inside Movies

SLC Ink

I'm trying to decide if I want to get a tattoo or not. I can't make up my mind and it's driving me crazy! I have a few ideas of what I think would look cool, but then there's where do I get it? How big do I get it? I also have to like it enough because once it's done there's no going back! I really need some opinions on this matter so please let me know what you think!

Day From Hell

Yesterday was a day from Hell! It took me an hour and a half to get to work because of the snow. I never drove over 20 mph and I still spun out five times on the freeway. I'm very lucky to still be alive! All I want to know is where were the God damn snowplows?! Not one fucking road was plowed yesterday until 3:00 in the afternoon! No wonder there were so many wrecks yesterday. Although people being stupid drivers doesn't help either, but it would have helped if the roads had been plowed. It was a long, stressful drive to work and that was only the beginning of the day.

I made it to work safe, but since I was so late I was very far behind. I was running around with my head cut off. I had to get our order in by 11:00, but vendors kept coming in and a shitload of little things kept interrupting, so I didn't get our order in until 12:20. Let's pray the order comes today.

While running around like a maniac, our pumps decided they were on strike and wouldn't pump gas because our fuel tank sensors are messed up and I don't want to really talk about the shitshow that ensued. So during the shitshow I got a call from an employee, which didn't make me happy.

My employee said they'd sprained their knee and were at the hospital and didn't think they were going to make it to work, which means I would have worked yesterday from 9:00 to 11:00, but by the grace of another employee I didn't have to and was able to make it to a good friend's birthday dinner!

Now for the worst part of the day! I used the restroom and took my phone out of my pocket and sat it on the toilet paper holder. I left my phone there and realized about two minutes later where I'd left it. Two fucking minutes later, I go in there and it's gone! Someone stole my phone and I was pissed! I hope karma bites the fucker in the ass and he can't sit for a year! I'm now sitting with several hundred dollars less in my account because I had to get a new phone at almost retail price because of my damn contract. Curse you phone kidnapper! And your little dog too!

I know I'm not the only one who had a bad day yesterday, so to all you who did have a bad day I say it wasn't as bad as mine! Hah!

Team Edward

With the world's current obsession with all things undead I've decided to dedicate a post to the one undead who's captured the hearts of millions of girls, women, and some men. Although many would claim a certain furry alternative is a better choice, I still stand next to the pale-skinned, sparkles in the sun vampire, Mr. Edward Cullen, played by Robert Pattinson. He's the one who started it all and in my opinion Robert Pattinson is far sexier than Taylor Lautner. I'm not saying Mr. Lautner is not attractive, he's extremely attractive! I just think Robert Pattinson's unique looks give him an edge Taylor Lautner lacks. Not to mention Robert Pattinson is English, which adds even more to his appeal.

Yes, Pattinson can look like he just woke from a drunken night of fun sometimes, but look at this year's Sexiest Man of the Year, Johnny Depp. He's not the most attractive man, but there's an appeal to him that draws people to him. He dresses funny, has had his fair share of weird hairstyles and fashion sense, but people can't get enough. Johnny Depp is sexy in a way no one else is and I think Robert Pattinson falls into that category as well. There's just something about him.

So I am all for Team Edward! At least the man who portrays him. And what's a post without some pictures? Hope you enjoy them!

Preggers

So as many people do, they wait until Thanksgiving to tell their families some really good news or some really bad news. Luckily the news I heard this Thanksgiving was good news! One of my sisters is pregnant with her second kid! I'm so excited! I'm hoping for a nephew this time around since it's been 14 years since my last nephew was born, but if I end up with another niece I'll love her just the same.

My pregnant sister's daughter came in wearing a shirt with the words "Big Sister" on it. She was waiting to see how long it would take people to notice and of course my little brother was the first one, but only because my niece went to him first! So that's how we found out my sister's pregnant. I'm glad I didn't drop a particular bombshell on family, but it will happen eventually I'm sure. And when it does I'm hoping for a small explosion, not a nuclear one.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Since Thanksgiving is only two days away I've decided to share some things I'm grateful for in my life and hope that you all will take time to reflect on things you're thankful for and to tell all those you love that you're grateful for them and love them!

I'm very grateful for my family. I love being with them and they make me happy, especially my little nieces. They are the cutest! The last few months have been kind of difficult around my family because I haven't told all of them about myself and my liking of men, my drinking, and all around debauchery. Haha! My family's Mormon and I grew up Mormon so it's made things hard and any of you who grew up with a religious background can probably relate. Anyway I'm just grateful for them and I hope things will go well between us in the future.

I'm grateful for One Note Short. You know him better as Sexy! He's an amazing guy! He makes me laugh and my days are better when I'm around him. I'm grateful he plays nerdy computer games and is goofy because I'm the same way! He puts up with me when I can be a pain in the ass. I could say a million more things, but I'll just say I love him very much! And he's damn sexy!

I'm grateful for all of my friends because there's never a dull moment when I'm with them. Love you guys! And girls!

I'm grateful for my job and where I live. I've been very lucky being able to hold onto a job when many others are struggling through this difficult time.

I'm grateful for the simple things in life! The little things that make you happy like a hug or a smile or even a nice cold beer! Mmmm!

So there's a few things I'm grateful for! I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving! And don't worry about eating too much food. That's what New Year's resolutions are for!

Long Overdue

I apologize for taking so long to post anything! Hopefully this post will make up for my slacker ways.

So I went to Texas with Sexy and his coworker last week since they were both down there for business and were going to get a day off. Our plan was to go to Six Flags on their day off, but alas it was closed in preparations for the holidays, so we spent the day eating lunch at the Stock Yards in Fort Worth followed by a lovely shopping adventure in the Galleria of Dallas.

The Stock Yards are a unique historic section of Fort Worth where they've transformed the holding pens of the animals into little shops and restaurants. The streets are cobblestone, which I love, and there were perfomers riding around on horses cracking their whips. One horse would even smile for a picture, but the guy cracked the whip so much and hard, we didn't dare get close for a shot for fear of being decapitated. We wanted to see some event that was happening, but didn't want to wait. I think it was a cattle run. Anyway, when we were done at the Stock Yards we drove to a great mall in Dallas.

The mall in Dallas was full of hotties and amazing stores. I bought a shirt from Zara and one from Armani Exchange and had to contain myself so I wouldn't spend hundreds maybe even thousands of dollars (that I don't have) on amazing clothes. I love shopping, but I try not to do it too much.

For the rest of the vacation I just relaxed in the hotel. It was so nice not to do anything for awhile! I did hate leaving the 70 degree weather and returning to 40 degree weather though, but oh well. What can you do?

TGIF!

Thank God this week is finally over! It seems to have gone as slow as a gay man getting ready in the morning (like me). It took forever! I don't take forever all the time, just some days. I think I have OCD. Anyway, I'm just glad it's the weekend and here are a few reasons why I'm looking forward to it:

1. I'm going on a date with Sexy this weekend and I can't wait!

2. My roommate's doing a photo shoot with me so I can make a portfolio and give modeling a shot. I have an old friend from high school who talked me up to his friend at a talent agency and the guy contacted me, which I thought was pretty cool. I think it will be fun! If the guys thinks I'm any good, he wants me to come to a photo shoot with him. I'll let you know what happens.

3. I get to go to a friend's birthday party, which means I get to go dancing, which means I'm so excited I might just have to change my pants.

I think that sounds like a pretty damn good weekend! I'll write about any memorable moments next week. Have a good weekend!

Crazy Weekend

This last weekend was insane! The Halloween party on Friday was great fun with a lot of great people. The only problem I had at the party was some guy dressed up as The Joker in the nurses outfit from Dark Knight. He would not leave me alone no matter how many times I told him I was taken! Needless to say I was groped several times throughout the night and I totally should have punched him in the face or gave him a swift kick between the legs. That would have taught him a lesson! Now it was flattering at first that The Joker was interested in me, but I got tired of it real quick. Besides basically being raped, I really enjoyed the party and seeing everyone's costumes. Halloween is so much fun! But that was just the beginning of the foolishness.

Now, I'm not going to go into too much detail about the events that occurred Saturday night so as to save certain individuals from death by embarrassment, but I'll give you enough that your imaginations can run wild!

It all started with a little pill called Ambien. I didn't participate in the consumption of said pill because I was so fucking tired already, but eveyone else present took one or two. Now combine Ambien with alcohol and you're in for a night of folly!

After I went to bed but couldn't fall asleep I made the mistake of going back downstairs into the chaos. All I'm going to say is one person got completely naked and some people had a little fun. Like I said, I'll let you imagine.

Halloween!

This is a photo from the Halloween party I went to. There's Mario, Princess Peach, and myself as Toad next to Sexy as Max from "Where the Wild Things Are". It was a blast, but I was freezing! I'll write a little bit in my next post about the rest of the crazy weekend.

Humongous Fungus

I finally found a costume for Halloween! I'll give you one guess what it is. Any guesses? No?

Well I'm not going to tell you. You're just going to have to wait for some pictures or something. I'll just hint that it has something to do with the title of this post. I think it's going to be awesome and I can't wait for the party to show it off!

Just so you know it snowed today. It was a fucking blizzard and it's only October! What's up with that? Better get out the winter coats.

Common Courtesy Anyone?

I've noticed a trend lately, specifically when I'm driving, that many people don't notice common courtesy when they see it. The specific event I'm referring to is when another driver has failed to turn their headlights on and is driving in the dark begging to be broadsided.

I've probably passed 5 or 6 vehicles in the last month that haven't had their headlights on and like I was taught in Driver's Education, I flashed my brights at them as a signal to turn on their lights. Not one of them turned their lights on! In fact, almost every driver looked at me as if they were looking at a dumb ass! I'm not the dumb ass moron! I'm the one that's potentially saving your life and the life of the person/persons in the car that you'll hit because you don't have your fucking headlights on!

Anyway, if someone flashes their brights at you when you're passing them, check to see that your lights are on. Be a smart driver. Be safe and help others be safe. Just a thought.

My Birthday Rocks

Today I did a little thing on Facebook that tells you which celebrities share your birthday and I was pleasantly surprised! Here they are in all their glory!

Ryan Phillippe

Colin Firth
Mikey Way
Guy Ritchie

and Johnathan Schaech

Damn! No wonder I have such an awesome birthday! And you never know, maybe one day I'll join their ranks of awesomeness. Oh! Our wonderful birthday is September 10.

Happy Hump Day!

Happy Hump Day everyone! I hope you can all make it to Friday unscathed. I can't wait until Friday because that's when I get to see Sexy again! In celebration of Hump Day here is something to make you smile! Enjoy!

Adventure Awaits

Today is the day I begin the journey to a clean room. It's going to be long, dirty, and dangerous. Some new threat will await at every turn, but I will defeat them! I will not fail...

Okay, so maybe I've been playing a little too much World of Warcraft, but today is the day I'm going to start the long chore of cleaning my room. Before I do though, I'm going to the doctor to finally see about getting on some medication. That might seem a little too personal to be putting on here, but for some reason the more I tell myself that I'm doing it, the less nervous I am about trying it out. I am nervous about medication, but I will let you know how things work out.

Medication for what you ask? It's none of your damn business so don't ask! Oh and thanks for reading my blog.

Maid Monday Continued

I just went and got some food for lunch and my car is just as bad as my room! Why do I do this to myself?! Why?! It's embarrassing.

Maid Monday

Today is Monday and I really wish I had a maid. Why do I wish I had a maid? Having a maid would mean I don't have to clean my room. It's a fucking disaster! I usually don't mind cleaning and in fact, I quite enjoy it sometimes, but my room has gotten out of control. It's overwhelming, and I don't know where to start!

Do I start with the Mount Everest of laundry, the Sahara of dust, or the 20,000 Leagues of mail/bills that has been collecting over the last month or more? I might not make it out alive! If you don't see a post for a while, you'll know the worst happened. I'll probably be eaten by a Yeti, killed by some undiscovered giant sand worm, or be dragged to Davy Jones' Locker by the Kraken. Wish me luck and pray that I'll return.

Over It

I am over being sick! This is the third day and I'm still not feeling my best. I am feeling better though, so that's a good thing. Instead of my whole body aching only my head and throat are killing me. Hopefully they will stop soon. Anyway it's time to catch up!

So a couple of posts ago I said I would explain why my head was hurting so much, but I can only remember one reason for it and it was because some rich bastard who drives a Mercedes was complaining about the 75 cents he had to pay to fill his tires with air. Needless to say, when he was done using the air he was still throwing a tantrum like a five year old girl who never got her Barbie Doll for Christmas and his Mercedes was hit by a truck! Of course he says it wasn't his fault, but no one saw it so no one really knows. I say it was his fault just because he's a wealthy dumb ass who thinks everyone has to wait on him hand and foot and give him whatever he wants. Why do so many rich people complain about so many things? And it seems like the things they do complain about are the most insignificant ones they shouldn't even think twice about! Crazy fucks! I'm over rich people, unless they are genuinely nice.

Shoo Flu!

I have the flu. It sucks, but I'll get over it. Sexy has it too, along with his friend and his roommate. I guess it's going around. As soon as I feel up to it I will catch up on my posts.

Can't Compute

I was in the middle of writing a new post but couldn't finish because my head is fucking pounding, so when it stops I will try again. In my post you will find out why my head is pounding so damn hard. Stay tuned...

Killer Concert

As you know Saturday was the night of The Killers Concert and it was an amazing show! General admission tickets and an early arrival brought us in very close proximity with the wonder that is Brandon Flowers. Holy shit he's beautiful!

Anyway after their opening number they were told to get off stage because of some technical problem. People were pissed! But better for them to be able to put on a good show and be safe, right? And put on a damn good show they did! Brandon's singing was flawless and so was his choice of clothing. I don't think I've ever seen pants so tight. It looked like his legs were painted black and let's just say that he seems to be very well endowed. You know what I mean. Sexy and I were drooling all night! Huge bulge on a very sexy, talented guy. Who could ask for more?

Despite the distraction of Brandon's pelvic region we managed to actually watch the concert and enjoy it. My favorite song was their last one, "All These Things That I've Done". They shot off confetti from canons during the song and it was awesome!

So even though the place was full of fucking idiots, namely one Hispanic male I wanted to beat the living daylights out of and that we were deaf for twenty minutes after, it was an enjoyable evening. Totally worth the money.

Music to My Ears

I recently received an iTunes giftcard for my birthday and a few days ago decided to finally use it. I even spent a little more than the giftcard was worth because there has been so much good music released! These new purchases have made me very happy so I've decided to share some of them with you and hope you'll check them out.

When September Ends

I can't wait for September to end! Usually I love September because I love Fall and it's the month of my birth, but this September has sucked pussy. I'm not trying to be a downer, but God it needs to end. By the end of the month I will have seen Sexy for less than half the month! It sucks for both of us. Sexy just makes things better and I miss their stinkin' guts! I need to get used to it though because that's what Sexy's job entails.

Trying to be optimistic there are a couple of good things about this September, first of all being I've started singing in a choir again and secondly, I get to see The Killers in concert with Sexy and I can't wait!

Deseret Chamber Singers

Last night was my first rehearsal with the Deseret Chamber Singers and it was fucking amazing! It's been almost 3 years since I've been in a choir and it felt so good to be singing again! Plus many of my friends are in the choir as well, which makes it even more fun.

The nice thing about DCS is they only rehearse once a week and only have a few concerts each season. It happens to work very well with my schedule, which makes me a very happy man. I love singing! I will let you know when the finalized concert dates are and hope you will come hear us.

Redneck/White Trash Festivities

This past weekend I had the joy of going back home to Brigham City, Utah. It was the weekend of the annual Peach Day's Celebration, which includes a parade, a shitload of booths, really unhealthy food, delicious dutch oven peach cobbler, and all the redneck/white trash folks anyone could ever ask for. I don't mean to be rude, but damn there were a lot of them there! How did I grow up there without realizing it? All the girls with their big ass hair that makes them look like some mutated human being that could use their telekinetic powers to destroy civilization as we know it with what you think is their gigantic brains, but turns out to be only their god damn big ass hair! I'm sorry girls, but if you think big ass hair is attractive, think again. You look deformed. You are bimbos, as one of my high school teachers expertly classified you. The bigger your hair, the bigger the bimbo. Brigham City is full of bimbos, so if you have a phobia of bimbos, which I think I'm starting to get, I suggest you stay clear of the city limits. I'm so glad I don't live in Brigham City anymore, but all the bimbos aside I had a really enjoyable time with my family and love them dearly!

Fall Movies I Want to See

There's one thing I love to do and that is going to the movies, especially if it's a long anticipated film. I love the packed theater and the anticipation in the air. I love when everybody screams, laughs, or cries at the same time. It makes the movie more enjoyable when everybody in the audience is on the same wavelength.

I love movies that hold me in awe or inspire me. Movies that make me feel something deep. So since I love movies so much I decided to share with you my 10 most anticipated movies this Fall. They're in no particular order.

1. 9 - The new film produced by Tim Burton. Looks very unique and has a great cast.

2. The Road - Based on the book by Cormac McCarthy who wrote No Country for Old Men.

3. New Moon - Sequel to Twilight featuring Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen. Mmmm.

4. Fame - A remake musical that I'm sure will make a lot of people famous.

5. Where the Wild Things Are - Based on the children's book that I loved as a child.

6. New York, I Love You - If you saw Paris, Je T'aime and loved it like I did you should see this. It's the same idea.

7. Nine - Not to be confused with 9. This one's a musical with an amazing cast.


8. Extract - A comedy with Jason Bateman. Enough said.

9. The Informant - Stars Matt Damon. Enough said.

10. Precious - A film that got great praise at Sundance. Has Mariah Carey in it.

I encourage you to watch the trailers for any of these films if they pique your interest at all.

Worst Lunch

So today for lunch I decided to get something besides the usual gas station shit I eat everyday because I manage a gas station and the food's just there. On my way back from the bank I decide that a Market Fresh Sandwich from Arby's sounds delicious and that's what I'll have for lunch.

I drive to the speaker box where you place your order and the guy asks me if I want to try one of their cool new foods. I didn't even understand what the hell he was saying so I asked him what he had said. He then says can I take your order in an exasperated tone. Don't get mad at me you bastard! You're the one that needs to talk with more annunciation! I proceed to place my order, which was a number 16 with a Dr. Pepper. I tell him a medium-sized combo meal is fine. He gives me the total and I pull around to the window.

The girl at the window, who did not take my order, was very friendly. I pay, get my food and drive off. This is where I made the mistake of not checking my order until I got back to work. I sit down to enjoy a delicious, fresh, healthy sandwich when what to my surprise is in the bottom of the brown bag? A huge greasy, probably been sitting under the heat lamp for hours beef and cheddar sandwich. Agh! I was pissed, but didn't have time to go back because I had too much to do at work today. So I told myself that it was fine and just eat the damn thing because you're hungry! I try to grab the thing out of the plastic holder it was in, but couldn't without my hands getting cheesed on. So I have cheese all over my hands by the time I take my first bite. There was so much fucking cheese on the thing that the whole sandwich wouldn't stay together! It kept sliding around getting sauce and cheese all over my face and hands. Gross! I probably looked like a toddler eating spaghetti or something because of the mess. Hell!

Finally I gave up because the bun disappeared faster than the rest of the sandwich and decided to just drink my Dr. Pepper. Thank God for Dr. Pepper. I shouldn't drink it because it's horrible for you, but we all do things that are horrible for us, right? So the point of this shit for a post is don't go to the Arby's in Draper unless you want to hire a maid to clean up a fucking disaster.

Weekend Review

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted something! I haven't been home too much in the past few days. Anyway, I had a great weekend! I played WOW, went to a friends birthday party, and got sick from drinking way too much. Again...Oh well. It was a good time at least! I had someone to take care of me while I was sick and I'm very grateful for them. So grateful! But the reason I got sick is because I don't know when to say no! Especially when my middle name that was written on my red plastic cup is being yelled non-stop until I come and take another shot. Let's just say it was an awesome night! Just don't want to do it again for a little bit.

Anywho, I also finally saw Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince! It was a great movie and I even cried a little. The only thing I would've like more was a little more darkness in the movie. The book was so dark and they left most of those parts out. But it was still a good movie. And here are a couple reasons why I enjoyed it:

Tom Felton. We know him better as Draco Malfoy.

And Freddie Stroma who plays Cormac McLaggen.

Dumbest Drivers

It takes a lot to make me mad. I'm generally a very laid back guy and rarely lose my temper, but the times I usually do are when I'm behind the wheel. I don't get mad because I have road rage and want to own the road and piss everybody off. I get mad because of the plain stupidity of Utah drivers! I swear they are the dumbest people behind the wheel! They don't know any traffic laws whatsoever and that probably has something to do with the amount of wrecks on Utah roads.

Not only are they dumb, but they are also selfish on the road. It's all about me, me, me and they don't give a shit who else is on the road. They don't let people over, they don't let people merge, they don't get over for faster traffic, they don't use their signals, and they sure as hell think they aren't doing anything wrong! Ahhhh! It makes me fucking angry!

Maybe their stupidity has something to do with the poor driver's education system in Utah. I know my driver's education was horrible, but that doesn't mean I didn't learn the basic laws of driving and to be a courteous driver. I think everyone should be required to retake the driver's education test every few years or after they have a certain amount of moving violations. Now that may sound unreasonable, but if it makes people more aware of other cars on the road and makes them better drivers, we will have safer roads in Utah. Just a thought.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

I have finished the novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith! Few books have ever made me laugh out loud, but this one did on multiple occasions because of the random placement of events involving zombies, ninjas, warrior women in dresses wielding various weapons, and all the blood and gore that should accompany said subjects. It was a delightful read and I recommend it to anyone who is looking for something to pass the time and be thoroughly entertained. I was able to enjoy it because it was given to me as a gift. Thank you, Sexy! You know who you are. Below are some lines from the novel:

• "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains."

• "Two adult unmentionables-both of them male-busied themselves feasting upon the flesh of the household staff."

• " 'My dear girl' said her ladyship, 'I suggest you take this contest seriously. My ninjas will show you no mercy.' "

• "The smoke from Darcy's musket hung in the air around him, wafting heavenward through his thick mane of chestnut hair."

Now the question is what do I read next? Any suggestions?

High Tide

There's no greater joy than having to get up at the ass crack of dawn to head to work! Okay technically I was there before the ass crack of dawn, so I got to enjoy the whole ass crack in all its glory! I will say it was beautiful. Being at work that early has its advantages. For one, I'm pretty much still asleep, so time moves as if that were true. That is until I have my coffee to wake me up and then the clock seems to rewind. Another advantage is any customers that come in that early are asleep like me and don't have the energy to be assholes like those that come later in the day. You really get to know people when you work at any type of retail job and what dumbshits they can be. Speaking of dumbshits, let me tell you about the dumbshit of the day!

Work was going well for the first several hours because it wasn't busy so I was able to get a few things done. As soon as my coworker arrived, however, that's when chaos started to ensue. I went into the office to do my assistant manager duties but wasn't able to finish them because of some missing vital information, which hopefully will be found tomorrow. So when I got as much done as I could I went back out to the registers to help customers. Now I'd been drinking lots of water after my coffee so let's just say my bladder was ready to explode inside me!

As soon as I had the chance I ran to the restroom to relieve my poor bladder, but no! I couldn't do so and why? Because some dumbshit let the toilet overflow! Why he let the toilet overflow when there was a plunger in plain sight next to said toilet I will never be able to comprehend! So water was everywhere and thank God it didn't smell, otherwise there might have been a little of my Honey Nut Cheerios breakfast to go with the water I had to mop up. Yes, I mopped it up and it took forever! We didn't really have another method for doing so. It was a lot of water, so about 45 minutes to an hour later the floor was finally dry. I kind of felt like Cinderella in the scene where she's mopping and she starts singing and you see her in the bubbles...let's just say I didn't sing because I was too pissed off at the dumbshit that wasted an hour of my time and prevented me from doing my other duties at work. Alright enough about that.

Holy hell this post is long! But it's my first, so please forgive me. Will you?

New Thing For Me

This blog is a new thing for me, so it might take a bit to get it up and running to my liking. Stay tuned and hopefully you will keep coming back!