3.07.2011

Keep on Swimming

Life sucks right now, but I'm trying to stay optimistic! I know. You're asking why my life sucks aren't you? Aren't you?! Fine! I'll tell you. Now, my life doesn't suck in the sense of I'm a loser or anything along those lines. No, no, no. My life sucks right now because of my inability to get it under control. I will get it under control soon. I hope. Oh I so desperately hope! There are a few major reasons why my life isn't in control at the moment.

First, I am drowning in debt and I don't know how to swim! My debt wouldn't be a problem if my hours at work weren't cut, but alas they were. My debt also wouldn't be a problem if I could have taken classes this semester. I don't have to pay on certain debts if I'm in school. You're smart I'll let you figure out what debts those would be. I'm not in classes this semester because I didn't get the financial aid needed to pay for those classes. So I'm not making enough money to pay my bills, which is why I'm trying to find a new job or jobs to help me out, which brings me to my next reason.

I haven't been able to get a new job for a while now. I know there are many people who don't have jobs period, my father among them, so I just have to be patient. Although I'm not sure how long patience will work before collectors start knocking on my door. Please pray it doesn't come to that! I've applied to many different positions and even interviewed several times for one, but wasn't chosen to fill it. I wasn't chosen because my final interview kind of bombed. Oh well! I don't interview well. It's like taking a test for me. I don't do well under the pressure! Just need to keep practicing. I've applied to a few other places recently, so I hope I at least get one interview from them and soon! All of this adds to my stress level, which I think is a big part of the next reason of why my life sucks at this time.

My god damn fucking stomach! Pardon my French, but man I'm sick of my stomach giving me grief. I went to the doctor a couple days ago and I'm going to try two diets over the next month or so. A no dairy diet and then a no gluten diet. This is to see if I'm allergic to one of them. I'm pretty sure I'm not since I eat both almost every day and my stomach doesn't hurt everyday. But when it does I want to die! The doctor also took blood to test for Hepatitis A, but haven't heard the results so I'm doubting it is Hepatitis. I'm also starting to take fiber supplements. Yummy! Not! If none of these things work then I will go to a specialist. So let's hope one of them tells us something!

So those are the main contributing factors to the fucking suckiness that is my life right now. With time these issues will be resolved and I can move on and never worry about them again, so I just have to remember that and not let them get me down. Overall my life is wonderful and I love it, so don't be too worried. I'll be fine. I always am. If life has you down just remember the words of a favorite sea dweller of mine. Just keep swimming!

Linkin Park - Iridescent

Now I know there aren't many lyrics to this song, but I love the ones it has and hope you enjoy it.

Linkin Park
Iridescent

You were standing in the wake of devastation
And you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
And with the cataclysm raining down
Insides crying "Save me now"
You were there, impossibly alone

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failure’s all you’ve known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go. Let it go

And in a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace
Falling into empty space
No one there to catch you in their arms

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failure’s all you’ve known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go. Let it go

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failure’s all you’ve known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go. Let it go

Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failure’s all you’ve known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go. Let it go